i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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