I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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