so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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