the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
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I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
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Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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