I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
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That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
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The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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