then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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