no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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