brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize