I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize