Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..

(609): View more from New Jersey

AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!

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(609): Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?! (267): This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room.. (609): AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?! http://tfl.nu/dtle

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet

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(508): I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet http://tfl.nu/ryzv

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!

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(502): Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night! http://tfl.nu/a9zw

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(210): View more from Texas

By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE

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(210): By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE http://tfl.nu/98pz

Replies (32) Good night (8976) Bad night (829) Order T-Shirt
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(703): View more from Virginia

unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis

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(703): unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis http://tfl.nu/rixp

Replies (19) Good night (2102) Bad night (2896) Order T-Shirt
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(410): View more from Maryland

He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.

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(410): He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week. http://tfl.nu/7fuh

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(810): View more from Michigan

Whats the count minus fat chicks?

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(810): Whats the count minus fat chicks? http://tfl.nu/9ldi

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.

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(405): You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's. http://tfl.nu/922r

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(678): View more from Georgia

Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.

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(678): Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation. http://tfl.nu/0izo

Replies (5) Good night (901) Bad night (1829) Order T-Shirt
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(904): View more from Florida

whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.

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(904): whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry. http://tfl.nu/s428

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(707): View more from California

I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.

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(707): I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any. http://tfl.nu/bt78

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.

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(724): Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy. http://tfl.nu/yszi

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.

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(865): I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does. http://tfl.nu/lzon

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.

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(570): And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny. http://tfl.nu/bodd

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(515): View more from Iowa

You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.

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(515): You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick. http://tfl.nu/jkbb

Replies (5) Good night (1116) Bad night (212) Order T-Shirt

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