Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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