I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize