i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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