Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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