I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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