Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize