I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
it's like iHOP with fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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