I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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