like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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