I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize