My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize