this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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