Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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