you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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