and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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