PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
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You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
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I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize