I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
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