i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
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Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
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Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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