My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize