Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
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But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
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Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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