i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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