he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize