I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize