i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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