hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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