we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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