I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Couch. On fire.
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