Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
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Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
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I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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