Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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