You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize