And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
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I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
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They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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