My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize