Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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