I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize