But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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