He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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