Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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