the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Everclear isn't food dammit
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize