He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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