We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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